Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Save Your Ringworm for Your Momma

As social media, texting and email become more common, all of us become more casual.  Some are more casual than others.  Too, too casual.

I am often shocked by the status updates people will post on Facebook.  In the interest of mankind and to save these filterless folks from ridicule, I propose the following be banned:

1.  Your relationship status if it changes weekly.  If you find yourself changing from "in a relationship" to "its complicated" to "single" more than two or three times a year, perhaps you should consider holding off on advertising your new beau for a few weeks.  Also, if your status is "its complicated," consider that you may be a booty call and should perhaps move along.

2.  Health updates related to warts, gout, fungi, ingrown toenails, ringworm or your lady bits.  And for the love of all that is good and holy, restrain yourself from posting pictures of any of this nastiness!

3.  Posts that beg for someone to ask, "What's wrong?"  These include such posts as a) Argh!; b) Seriously?!; c) Prayers please; d) I just don't know how much more I can take; and e) Any variation of the above. 

4.  More than five posts per day.  I do not need any one person to fill up my little notification thingy.  If you feel the need for a diary, get one.  Or get on Twitter.  I hear it's more tolerant of such things.

5.  Bigoted comments of any kind.  Believe it or not, you are not endearing yourself to more than a handful of people by being a racist, sexist homophobe.  And even that handful of your comrades probably thinks you're stupid for putting it out there.  Oh, and I will delete your sorry butt.

Bottom line, if you hesitate to post, even for a second, err on the side of not sharing.  Talk to your momma instead. 

Feel free to post your Facebook post pet peeves in the comments and tell your momma and 'em I say hey.


P.S.  I will try to work on my issues prior to my next post with a goal of not being judgmental.  I'm not making any promises.  Somebody will probably tick me off.


  1. Trixie Boudreaux!June 6, 2012 at 3:45 AM

    Totally agree to all of the above except I have to add those individuals that believe that they will suffer the wrath of the devil for all eternity if they do not repost something relating to religion or Jesus or something.
    It lowers religious expression to a scattered collection of superstition and hysteria.
    I am not even going to mention those people who publicly post their travails and dissapointments with the judicial system, i.e. parole officers and prison visits.