Survivor: The Elevator Edition

Last night as I left work, a nice little power surge left me stuck in the elevator for a few minutes.  Fortunately, one of my law partners, Scott, was stuck with me, so there was very little freak-out factor.  Scott is very resourceful and I assumed that if it came down to it, he could fashion some sort of device to free us using his shoelace, a ceiling tile and my iPad charger.
Plus, when you work in an historical (a/k/a "old") building, you start getting used to little elevator blips. 

Our trusty security guard was able to free us in just a few minutes, but not before I started worrying that I had not brought snacks.  This got me to thinking I need a plan in the event I ever get stuck overnight.  This is what I came up with:

1.  Take an inventory of the food and drinks my fellow prisoners and I have with us.  I know they say a person can survive for several days without food and water, but I get very cranky when I'm hungry.  My crankiness could lead my fellow prisoners to declare mutiny and attempt to murder me with a pocket knife.  Not the way I want to go.

2.  Establish a pee corner.  This was actually Scott's idea, borrowed from Dwight on The Office, but it's a very necessary part of the plan.  Imagine if there is no plan and people just start relieving themselves willy nilly.  (See what I did there?)  Such anarchy cannot be tolerated if the new government is going to work.  Which leads me to...

3.  Choose the leaders.  The weaker-minded will need someone to tell them what to do.  Trust me on this.  You don't want these people melting down in a 6'x6' box or you'll be looking for that pocket knife.

4.  Create entertainment.  The entertainment will keep me from getting cranky (see #1) and will keep the pansies from freaking out (see #3).  I recommend a little hand-jive choreography.

5.  Prepare for whatever may be awaiting me upon my eventual release from the elevator prison.  I mean, the elevator could have stopped due to a power failure or it could have been stopped by apocalyptic zombies.  Do you really want to take a chance?  Not I, my friend.

Hopefully I will never have to enact this plan, but in the event it becomes necessary, I will be prepared.  Also, I'm going to throw some beef jerky and Twizzlers in my bag.  Just in case.

Letting my freak flag fly,
Stacy